i have a sweet tooth
which is a shorter nicer way of saying
if there’s candy of any kind anywhere nearby you bet your ass i will find it and i will eat it i know when there’s sugar close by i know
AN ANT JUST CRAWLED UP RIGHT NEXT TO MY LAPTOP WHERE THE HOT PART IS AND STARTED HAVING ASEIZURE BECAUSE HE W AS BURNING ALLIVE NOW HE’S NOT MOVIENG IM SO SORRY
i read this interesting fact the other day that pirates wore eye patches because they frequently transitioned from bright sunlight to darkness below deck and when they went below deck the covered eye would already be adjusted to darkness so they could immediately see really well and not have to wait for their eyes to adjust
THIS IS LEGIT THEY PROVED IT ON MYTHBUSTERS.
i learned this from a gay pirate au fanfic i read
The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing.
when someone follows u and their icon is cute but they dont have a tagged/me and u just
im sorry if ive ever told you the same story twice its just that i dont have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me
I want to be a stay-at-home mom but I don’t want to cook, clean, do laundry, or have children
what if humans have cheat codes like if you jump 14 times and then punch + kick ok awesome now i can walk on water and do calculus
Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.
women do some things for themselves and not just for men
what a concept
if you ever think that you’ve made a big mistake, just remember that in 1788 the Austrian army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men
the worst thing about being shy and introverted is that you most of the time come off as cold and arrogant like you think you’re better than everyone else and thats why you don’t talk to people or hang out with them but it’s really the opposite its like you’re so uncomfortable with yourself that you don’t wanna share it with anyone else so you just dont and people think you’re an asshole but you’re actually just really scared
It bugs me when people are unnecessarily mean. Like, you didn’t have to make that comment. You could have just kept your mouth shut and left that person not feeling bad about themselves. What do you gain from making someone else feel like shit? Nothing of substance. Maybe a fleeting moment of power but that’s gone as soon as it comes so why? There’s enough unhappiness in the world without you adding to it.